


Marginal Gains

by TheIntelligentHufflepuff



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Female Friendship, Fluff, Gen, Humor, No Incest, Sibling Love, but most importantly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 16:09:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19930819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIntelligentHufflepuff/pseuds/TheIntelligentHufflepuff
Summary: Okay. So. Mission brief: monitor Vanya Hargreeves. Alright. For what? Something about the apocalypse. Stopping it, Helen guessed. Okay. She didn't have to kill her. All good.Did she have to earn her trust? That seemed...bad. That was weird. Helen had never felt bad about manipulating a mark before. But then again, her marks had never been nice to her before. Wait. Did she...did she like Vanya?AKAAn AU in which Helen is a Commission agent but not very committed to it, she and Vanya become friends, and the apocalypse is solved somewhere along the way. Also, the Hargreeves siblings do care after all.





	Marginal Gains

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't art, but it was fun to write and I hope it's fun to read :D   
> Please kudos/comment if you enjoyed!

The Commission was not exactly...forthcoming in the mission details they gave their agents. It was vexing, and Helen found herself settling into first chair at the orchestra with a little more vigour than was strictly necessary. Why she had to actually  _ join  _ the damn thing, she didn't know. Wouldn't staking out the theatre be enough? 

She heard a little cough behind her; when she turned around a mousy wisp of a woman was giving her a sympathetic smile. 

"Nervous?" She asked. 

Helen shrugged "A little." 

"Don't worry." the woman shook her head "I've been working here for two years and it still takes me about five minutes to relax every practice." 

That...that wasn't good. The mousy woman didn't seem to realise this, the corners of her lips still pulling up. Her brows were furrowed though- it was clearly costing her to be the one to initiate contact. Yet, even as the rest of the orchestra ignored Helen, the mousy woman had taken the trouble to say hello. It was nice. 

So, obviously, the next words out of her mouth were: "I'm Vanya." 

Vanya. Vanya Hargreeves. Helen's  _ mark.  _

Shit. 

********

Back in her apartment, Helen paced the sparse living room and thought. 

Okay. So. Mission brief: monitor Vanya Hargreeves. Alright. For what? Something about the apocalypse. Stopping it, Helen guessed. Okay. She didn't have to kill her. All good. 

Did she have to earn her trust? That seemed... _ bad.  _ That was weird. Helen had never felt  _ bad  _ about manipulating a mark before. But then again, her marks had never been nice to her before.  _ Wait.  _ Did she...did she  _ like  _ Vanya?

Nah. It was way too early to tell if she  _ liked  _ the woman. She was just overreacting. 

Yeah. Overreacting. She'd carry on monitoring Vanya and it would all be fine. 

*******

It was not fine. Vanya was nice. They were getting drinks after rehearsal. Their senses of humour matched; they giggled together in the back of practice. They'd told each other about their family. 

Helen  _ never  _ told anyone about her family. 

She and Vanya were  _ friends _ .

********

Looking back on it, blurting out her real purpose in joining the orchestra to Vanya over pizza and the mediocre Star Trek reboots was a questionable decision. At the time, it just made sense. 

"What." Vanya said, voice absolutely blank. 

Helen bit her lip, clutching her cider closer to her chest. 

"To be fair, I liked you  _ before  _ I found out I was meant to be spying on you." 

"You-" Vanya blinked, eyes shining "You did?" 

"Yeah." Helen nodded "You were nervous but you made an effort to make me feel welcome." 

"I know what it's like to not be." Vanya muttured. That was sad. 

"So…" Helen gestured vaguely "Do you believe me?" 

Vanya snorted; Helen's heart sunk, but Vanya said "Not really. But I don't have much of a choice, huh." 

"Not really, no." Helen confirmed brusquely "Just accept that you're in over your head." 

"That was rude." Vanya said. 

Helen canted her head to the side "Then why're you smiling." 

Vanya's gaze dropped "You remind me of my brother." 

And that was that. 

********

"So, know why you might end the world?" 

They were on Helen's bed this time, lying side by side on a blanket of sheet music. Neither of them really knew how to leave work at work. 

Vanya recoiled "God, no. Why are you assuming  _ I'd  _ do it?" 

"'Cos you're the one I'm meant to be monitoring." 

"But-" Vanya waved her hands about " _ How?" _

"Dunno." Helen shrugged "Maybe you'll start dating an important politician and then they'll let you in on state secrets and you accidentally blurt them and start a chain of events leading to nuclear destruction." 

"Really?" Vanya laughed "Sure." 

"What?" Helen protested "You're dad's a millionaire. Posh people come to concerts. You're hot. It's all there." 

"I appreciate your confidence in my ability to attract gold diggers, but I have never seen any of my dad's money." 

"Eh, they don't know that." Helen sat up "Seriously, though. Do you think you're about to do something crazy? Let go of your powers?" 

"Oh, yeah. My powers of mediocre violin playing are really about to explode." 

Helen snorted " _ No _ , your actual powers." 

"My actual...Oh." Vanya shook her head ruefully "No, Helen. Allison's the girl with powers, I'm the girl without. Sorry." 

"What? I know your sister has powers, but the dossier said-" 

"It was wrong." Vanya shrugged sheepishly "Sorry." 

"Hmmm." Helen said, but let it go. 

********

The next evening, she snuck into the Hargreeves mansion. It wasn't easy; Vanya's weird buff brother almost caught her, and the two staff were there to contend with, but she wasn't a Commision agent for nothing and she got to the main office undetected. Silky as a shadow, she flitted around confusing the surveillance cameras- she'd have around five minutes. 

Time to get down to business. 

Systematically, she sifted through Hargreeves' desk, flipping through papers, upending nicknacks, picking locks. She was running close to the line by the time she got to the red gilted box sitting unobtrusively on the corner of the desk, but boy- she was glad she did. 

_ Bingo _ . 

********

"Guess what I found on your dad's desk." Helen said, tossing the red notebook to Vanya casually as she sat down for practice. 

"You were in the  _ mansion? _ " Vanya hissed. 

Helen gave her a  _ look. _

"Did anyone see you? Did you  _ hurt  _ anyone?" 

"Nope and nope." Helen replied, popping the 'p'. 

Vanya went to open the book, but Helen dove over to clamp it shut again. 

Meeting Vanya's fearful eyes, Helen tried to be as reassuring as possible "You're gonna wanna wait until after practice." 

Though it seemed to pain her, Vanya nodded and tucked the book into her bag. When practice finished, she said her goodbyes to Helen as quickly as possible and was on her way. 

Helen watched her go with a sick feeling in her stomach. 

********

" _ Helen."  _ Vanya sobbed the second she picked up the phone. 

Ughhhhhhhhh. Emotions. Helen hated emotions. 

"Should I come over?" She asked. 

Vanya made a noise Helen took to mean yes. 

********

"I- I can't  _ believe  _ he'd just  _ lie  _ to me like that! And just because he couldn't be  _ bothered  _ to help me!" 

Helen dutifully offered Vanya another tissue. She snatched it out of her hands and dabbed at her eyes pitifully, before blowing her nose like a trumpet. Helen tried not to look too disgusted. 

"And  _ Allison! _ I can't believe she wouldn't  _ say  _ anything. All this time! I mean-" Vanya sputtered, gesticulating angrily "Did you see the  _ wording  _ of that? I bet that's why I have depression." 

Helen snorted, but Vanya tipped forwards to bat at her. 

"No, seriously! That's some negative thought pattern shit. My therapist should use that in her  _ textbook. _ " 

"And-" Vanya continued, losing no momentum " _ All _ of them. All of them just echoed, all the time, that I was  _ just  _ normal, that I was worthless, that I- _ Ugh!" _

"Well. You  _ can  _ believe that you're the most normally adjusted one of them." Helen offered. 

Vanya nodded, but then paused and shook her head. With a guilty look up at Helen through her fringe, she said "I don't know about that. I barely know how to interact with people. And I- I feel so  _ angry _ , so much of the time. It gets really bad sometimes. I- I have to just lock myself in a room and play my violin or I'll explode." 

"Ah, we-  _ Oh."  _

Vanya reared back, cautious "Oh?" 

Helen held her gaze, wide eyed "Extreme anger. Powers related to your emotions." 

"Apocalyptic rage." Vanya finished in dreadful understanding. 

For a moment, they stared at each other, letting the realisation sit. Then, Helen broke the silence. 

"We need to get a bitch some therapy."

********

And they did. A month went by and everything started to be pretty fine. Vanya was halfway through an anger management course, engaging more with her existing therapy, challenging herself to make more connections, and committing to it all with a grit Helen found impressive. Meanwhile, Helen was getting to know Vanya and the other members of the orchestra better, and starting to genuinely enjoy what had at first been nothing more than a convenient cover. Yes, Vanya hadn't contacted her siblings about the recent revelation (or, so far as Helen knew, at all), but it would come. They had all the time in the world. 

Or so Helen thought. 

One sunny morning, Helen's peace of mind was subjected to an almighty bitchslap in the form of a tube from the Commission. She had to return to HQ for briefing. 

Apprehension in her stomach, she flipped a knob on her briefcase and went. 

When she arrived, the Handler was smiling. A chill shot down Helen's spine, but she forced herself to remain polite. 

"Good morning." 

"Good morning, Helen." The Handler replied sharply "The apocalypse has been prevented." 

"Has it?" Helen asked eagerly. Phew. 

"Yes." The Handler practically growled. 

Oh.  _ Not  _ phew. 

"Was-" Helen stumbled over her words, cursing herself "Was it not meant to be?" 

" _ No!"  _ The Handler stood, hands pressed flat against the desk. It scared Helen more than if they'd been flying at her face. 

But- It was-  _ No _ . 

"Why?" Helen whispered. 

"It's  _ meant to be _ ." The Handler hissed, stalking around the desk "And you. Messed. It. Up. Are you happy? Enough people have tried to, you succeeded." 

"I-" 

"Ah!" The Handler snapped her fingers "No excuses. The only reason I  _ haven't  _ had you decommissioned is because you're already embedded. Fix your mistakes, or we'll fix them for you. You have two weeks.  _ Dismissed _ ." 

Helen turned on her heels and exited the office as fast as was physically possible. But she didn't want to go home just yet. Drawn by the babbling sounds of lunch hour conversation, she found herself outside where the lawns and gardens surrounding the office were dotted with small groups. Small groups and one guy alone, slightly older than her, who sat with his head bent over a book, drumming his fingers against his cheek in the same way Vanya did when she was reading music theory. 

Come to think of it, a  _ really  _ similar way. Almost as if they'd spent a lot of time together in their formative years, like she would've done with, for example, her missing brother. Her missing,  _ time travelling,  _ brother. 

If he was- Well. It wouldn't hurt to try. 

Helen trotted up to the man, hands shoved deep into her jeans pockets. He didn't notice her until she was a couple of metres away, at which point he jerked up like he'd been electrocuted and slammed his book shut like she was going to take it away. She waited for him to say something, but he just glared at her suspiciously. Okay then. 

"Hi, I'm Helen. Are you, or have you ever been, called Five Hargreeves?" 

He tried to stay blank, but his expression changed.  _ How,  _ she couldn't pin. 

"Why do you ask?" 

"I know Vanya Hargreeves." Helen shrugged. 

He jerked again, eyes narrowing. 

"How?" He hissed. 

"Well, I'm not gonna tell you unless I know I'm talking to the right person." Helen reasoned. 

His lips pressed together into one bloodless line, but eventually he relented "I  _ am  _ Five Hargreeves." 

"I was lucky to find you, then." Helen smiled. 

Five didn't comment, but he did shift over on the wall he was perched on. As soon as Helen sat down, he asked "What about Vanya?" 

"She-" 

"Oh!" Five cut her off "How old are they?" 

"Twenty-three. I only know Vanya, and she doesn't really talk to the others, but I think they're getting by. Other than-" 

"Ben." He grimaced "Yeah. I know." 

_ How?  _ She didn’t ask- that was the sort of knowledge that always came with strings attached in their line of work. 

Helen had enough emotional intuition to let a sombre moment stretch. But she was also on a time limit. 

“Anyway. Your remaining siblings. Do you still like them?” 

Five glared at her “What kind of question is that?” 

Helen shrugged, sanguine “A sensible one.” 

“Yes.” Five sighed “What do you want?” 

“To stop the apocalypse, and not have to kill Vanya in the process.” Helen summarised. 

“Can you stop fucking saying shit like that?” Five snapped, looking about two seconds away from an honest-to-God facepalm. 

Helen raised an eyebrow; he wilted ever so slightly. 

“Touchy subject.” 

It wasn’t an apology, but Helen took it as one. She didn’t have the luxury of being able to quibble with potential allies. 

“Could you just-” Five sighed, running his hands through his hair “Explain, please. How is Vanya in trouble? What’s the apocalypse got to do with it?” 

“Well-” 

By the time Helen had finished, Five looked about ready to stab his pen through his neck. But, nevertheless, he drew himself up and said “We need to go. If we can keep Vanya hidden until the date of the apocalypse then maybe-” 

“Maybe they won’t have a Plan B.” Helen bit her lip “The Commission won’t forgive you.” 

“Have they forgiven  _ you? _ ” 

“Yes-” Helen automatically replied, but Five cut her off with a shake of his head. 

“They’re lying.” he shrugged “Sorry.” 

“The Handler said I’d have another chance.” Helen protested, coming dangerously close to defending the bitch. 

“Do you think they kill their agents here? No. You’re dead meat, Helen.” Five informed her, voice surprisingly gentle “Whether you come with me or not.” 

“Oh.” Helen said “Okay. Let’s go.” 

********

Everything from entering the Commission offices to exiting in a burst of white light was a blur of fists and bullets. Helen, despite her job, had never exactly relished in violence, so by the time they stumbled to their feet in the middle of Vanya’s apartment she was about ready to collapse. No such luck, though. As soon as the suitcases’ flash dissipated, they were faced with another gun, this one brandished by a tall woman in a bright blue crop top. She was flanked by two men- one short, stocky, wearing... _ fetish gear?  _ The other was lanky, curly haired, and kind of hiding behind the woman. 

“Who are you?” she blurted at the same time as the fetish guy “Where’s Vanya?” 

They blinked at each other owlishly. 

“Is that-” the curly haired guy asked wonderingly, squinting at Five “Is that grown-up  _ Five _ ?” 

“Klaus.” Five choked. 

Oh. Okay. It was that sort of gig. Helen put her hands up and sidled to the side. Within moments, she was determinedly  _ not  _ looking at a heap of reunited siblings, Five and fetish guy both sniffing manly-ly and looking furious about it, curly haired dude grinning ear to ear, the woman shaking with emotion (which, considering Vanya only had one sister who happened to be an actress, was not that surprising).Quietly, she slipped into Vanya’s bedroom and then the bathroom, looking for any trace of the woman. With a sinking feeling, Helen realised a fine layer of dust sat over everything. 

When she returned to the living room, the siblings had separated. Fetish guy gestured at her expansively with a knife. 

Ah, that must be Diego then. 

“You never answered my question.” he said. Threatened, more like. 

“I’m Helen. First chair violin at the orchestra.” 

“Not anymore.” curly haired guy put in. 

Allison rolled her eyes “Vanya’s first chair.” 

“Really?” Helen smiled “Fuck yeah. But also, I left for like an hour.” 

“Did you leave in March?” Five asked shrewdly, gesturing to the calendar visible hanging up in the kitchen. 

“Okay, so maybe I was gone for a little bit longer than anticipated, but still- where’s Vanya?” 

“Missing.” Allison responded, lips taught. 

“For a while, if you guys have started looking.” Helen surmised. 

Diego hissed “What the hell does that mean?”

“Hey, hey,” Helen held her hands up placatingly “No judgement. I used to go six months with no contact with my sister, and she never even brainwashed me!” 

“Brainwashed?” Allison echoed. 

Helen looked at her strangely “Rumoured, whatever.” 

Now Allison just seemed even more confused. 

“ _ Rumoured? _ ” 

_ Oh, boy.  _ It was  _ not  _ Helen’s week. 

“Alright,” she sighed, clapping her hands together “Let’s get everyone up to speed.” 

********

“So, Vanya has powers.” Diego bit out, pacing back and forth; Helen hummed “She’s  _ apparently  _ fuelled by a bottomless rage. She might cause the apocalypse-” 

“-in five hours-” Allison murmured. 

“And she’s probably been kidnapped by a Commision agent who may be trying to stop the apocalypse, but may also be trying to start it.” 

“Essentially, yeah.” Helen responded. 

“No, it doesn’t.” the man who had never actually introduced himself as Klaus but apparently was muttered, looking reproachfully at a patch of air to his left. 

His attention was diverted by Five, who asked the Seance what everyone didn’t want to: “Can you see her?” 

Klaus shook his head “No. That doesn’t  _ necessarily  _ mean anything, but...no.” 

“Okay.” Five breathed “Then I think, if they are a Commission agent, I know where she might have been taken.” 

And that’s how Helen ended up in the back of a hatchback, squished between two Hargreeves as Diego drove like mad down a wood-lined road. 

“Where’s Luther?” Five asked, breaking the silence. 

His siblings exchanged a meaningful glance across Helen. Allison spoke, tone measured but words biting. 

“He thinks Vanya’s just run away, says no-one would bother to take her. He wouldn’t come.”

“Hmm.” Five said. 

The silence slunk back in.

*********

When they finally pulled up a safe distance away from the Commision bolthole Five had described, Helen was surprised. Though its lights were off, from a distance it looked much more like a fun little winter lodge than a cabin in the woods; despite it being ten minutes to the potential apocalypse, it put Helen slightly at ease. 

Apparently, the feeling was mutual. Diego squinted at the wind chimes swaying in the light breeze “Are you sure this is the right place?” 

Five nodded. 

“Okay.” Diego said, and ran off. 

Helen and Five shared a look; it was like they’d known each other for years. At a much more sedate pace, they crept forwards, Klaus and Allison alongside. When they reached the house, they split, she and Five circling counterclockwise while the others traced a path the other way. When they met up, it was to surround Diego, who was staring through a side window with a frown. 

Helen shuffled him aside and peered into a basic living room, two couches bracketing an unlit wood fire. Couches that held Vanya, sitting cross legged, and a burly man who had a pistol in his lap. Despite all appearances, they seemed to be chatting amiably. Helen pulled back, confused. 

“He’s Hazel.” Five whispered. 

Helen recoiled “ _ Hazel?”  _

He was legendary, one of the Commission's longest serving agents with a kill list to match. But if he was here, then where was his partner? 

Helen got her answer soon enough. 

“Oh my God!” Allison whispered. 

The others whipped around. Allison had crawled away from them into the underbrush, which she was currently holding aside to reveal what used to be the infamous Cha Cha and was now a suited body with a partially severed head. 

_ Oof.  _

“What is going on?” Helen questioned. 

“One way to find out!” Klaus smiled. 

Then he was knocking on the window.  _ Knocking on the window.  _

Diego, who evidently had more sense than Helen gave him credit for, tackled him away. But it was no use- Klaus let himself be manhandled with a vicious grin, and the window swung open, revealing one scowling Commision agent and two glinting guns. 

Helen’s weekend really had a theme, huh. 

“Hi!” she smiled brightly nonetheless, because she was a professional damnit “We’re very confused. Can we have Vanya please?” 

Feet pattered inside, then Vanya’s face appeared over Hazel’s shoulder. 

She seemed fine; in fact, she seemed more concerned for Helen than her own situation “Helen? Oh thank God, I thought you’d died. Or I dreamed you up.” 

Hazel spared a glance over his shoulder to give Vanya a look. 

“Who even  _ are  _ you?” Diego asked Helen again. She waved him off. 

“ _ Diego? _ ” Vanya squinted. 

“In the flesh.” he replied caustically “We’re all here to rescue you, I guess.” 

“All? Ho-” 

“Just come in.” Hazel sighed, gesturing with his gun “But don’t shoot me.” 

“What about stabbing?” Diego quipped, but held his hands out in peace anyway. 

As quickly as possible, they moved around the house to the front door. Two minutes to go. No sooner had they got there, then Vanya was opening the door and launching herself at Helen as Hazel lurked, awkwardly, behind her. 

“Hi. Sorry I disappeared. I didn’t mean to.” Helen told her softly. 

“It’s fine.” Vanya replied, drawing back “Just as long as you’re safe.” 

“Yeah, are we?” Allison asked, nodding meaningfully at Hazel. 

Vanya’s eyes widened as she took in the whole group of them for the first time, but she shook herself “Oh, yeah. If I start to go apocalyptic in the next-” she glanced at her watch, winced “One minute, Hazel will...sort that out.” 

“Shoot you?” 

Vanya nodded. 

“And if you  _ don’t  _ go apocalyptic?” 

“Well,” Vanya grimaced “We’ve got fourty seconds to find out.” 

Helen nodded. Then, because why the hell not, she offered Vanya her hand. She took it, giving their linked fingers a little squeeze. 

Thirty. 

Klaus loped over, wrapping his arm around Vanya’s shoulders. She smiled, small and frail. 

Twenty. 

Allison’s arm snaked through the crook in Vanya’s, linking them together. 

Ten. 

Neither Diego nor Five approached but they both looked on, fierce and watchful. 

Zero. 

Nothing happened. Helen dared to breathe a little, but not too much. She began counting again. 

Minus one. 

Minus two. 

Minus three. 

Minus four. 

Minus five.

Minus six… 

By the time she got to minus one-hundred-and-fifty and the night air still stayed as sweet, Helen realised she didn’t need to carry on. They’d done it. Or rather, Vanya had. 

Vanya who, with slightly glazed eyes, was eyeing Five like he was a mirage. 

“I’m sorry,” Vanya croaked “But you look a lot like my dead brother.” 

“Hey, Van.” he waved, and- as a testament to how  _ awesome  _ the very existence of that day was- smiled. 

_ Yeah, _ Helen thought as Vanya embraced Five, bubbling with joy, she still hated emotions generally  _ but _ ... she was kinda enjoying these ones.

And she wanted to stick around. 

**Author's Note:**

> FYI: I don't hate Luther, I just forgot to write him in until it was too late. Then he was a convenient scapegoat for some minor 'everything's not suddenly super chill with no effort' angst. Them's the breaks.


End file.
